Tough Guy

“Tough Guy” cruising around, pushing a tough stroller along side his tough wife and adorably tough kids… Cute. Then I notice the ginormous Honda “H” logo tattooed on the side of his neck.

Wait, what?!?

Theory of Oatmeal Attraction

I discovered a new theory of physics this morning while cleaning up an entire bucket of dry oatmeal spilled in the pantry: the amount of debris that sticks inside the broom and then drops onto the area you just swept increases inversely proportional to the decreasing amount of time you have to deal with this shit.

Revelation: Dating Can Rock!

I’m not sure what to think: I had what’s called a “date” with this stunning woman last night. We sat down for omakasa at Bluefin in Newport Coast. The crazy part was that the company, conversation and food were so good that I didn’t take a single picture, didn’t check Facebook or Instagram, and actually failed to look at my mobile even once. Instead, I looked at an actual person (who was hawt!!!!) and spoke to her without using my thumbs! It was so strange but awesome!

Did I mention she was stunning? And AWESOME?

So, I’m sorry there’s no pictures and I was gone for so long. But, seriously, you guys need to try this “date” thing. Its so new it doesn’t even have an app yet.

 

Panty Hunter

Conversation not to be overheard by minors:
Her: Did you see where my undies landed?

Him: you understand that if you’re asking me that, my mission is accomplished, right?

Her: Sure, ding dong, but what if the kids find my underwear?

Him: Its just proof that making babies takes practice.

Her: You’re impossible.

Him: Can we lose mine now?

Leaving Aliso

There were a million things I would have rather been doing today, notably some quiet time reflecting under a tree. Instead, I had to spend the day wrapping up the last details of our move.

I’m officially out of Aliso Viejo, a city I’ve called home for the better part of over 15 years. The highest highs and the lowest lows in my life, those redefining moments that irrevocably change who you are as a person and what you believe in, all happened within the confines of that twisted little town.

Today my tenure ends there. Its not ironic that it happens today, and certainly neither mystical or planned; it simply happened today. Now its time to hug the kids, see them off and grab a shower. Today is one Sunday I’m glad to see end.

Yoga? Pass.

I thought about trying yoga, but having to post a selfie to Instagram with an inspirational quote on every new pose seemed too overwhelming. Just like drinking a new smoothie at the gym or getting my nails done before a holiday. I just don’t need the pressure to post that…or be seen in those tights/hot shorts things…..guuuurl….

Apple and OS X Upgrades

Someone needs to remind Apple that when we buy their equipment, we’re not “borrowing” it, we own that shit!

I’ve had 3 laptops essentially die on me in the last couple of months, not because the hardware is broken or the software is corrupted… but because Apple says the laptops (all 15″ Intel-based Macbook Pros, top of the line when they were made) are simply too old. Can’t update java, can’t update Flash, no security patches, and – the greatest offense – being forbidden to update/upgrade or replace the operating system on perfectly good hardware.

Aw, hell no.

So, in an afternoon, I was able to circumvent those imposed limitations and now we have 3 refreshed laptops and 2 very happy Minecraft-addicted kids. Granted, that’s a Pandoras Box of its own now that every mod and patch they’ve seen on YouTube is a MUST to install and their OCD just doesn’t let up.

Sigh. Win some, lose some.