COVID Bliss: being muted mid-sentence by the client on a packed all partners conference call because your 4-year old is in the background barking like a dog.
After 6 of the longest work weeks I’ve had in years, I’m in the mood to run a marathon … if marathons involved pillows, heavy blankets and that one perfect spot on the sofa.
Yeah, I need more of those kinds of marathons in my life.
Kid: Dad, why is it always windy for Mariah Carey?
Me: They put her in storage after Christmas and that’s how they blow the dust off of her.
The only upside of another lockdown is getting a new season of the Governor Cuomo show.
Today is Friday the 13th. We had one of those already this year. Remember? It was March 13. That was the day we discovered the world was just going to close up for a few weeks until this whole COVID thing blows over.
Know what today means? Jack shit. It’s Friday in 2020. We’re either going to get eaten by burning slug snot disease or we’re going to sit at home and watch Netflix.
Did you ever notice the ‘droids in Star Wars had complex AI-driven personalities but the ships did not? I mean, they could have, but didn’t.
Perhaps Amazon’s Alexa in my car isn’t such a good idea after all.
I was trying to do push-ups today and realized something:
Gravity is kind of a dick.
The Law of Averages says you can flip a coin and it will land heads-up about 50% of the time.
The laws governing my life mandate that in 99 out of 100 attempts, I will blindly plug in a USB cable upside down.
Additionally – because the universe has a sadistic sense of humor – 80% of those attempts will involve the cable bending naturally, but in the opposite direction I need it to bend.
COVID-19, Day 22
It might be made of rubber, it might not. But it’s required for the workbench.
Why? Cheap wristwatches for kids. These little alert bombs show up at birthdays, Christmas and random grandparent visits. The kids are thrilled. “Dad! Look! I have a watch now!”Continue reading Dad Inventory item #17: Mallet.