I visit grocery stores daily, just in hope of what I might find. Today I was thrilled to find a few gallons of milk, I bought two because we’ve rationed out what little we had at home for days. I found a loaf of overpriced bread that my kids might eat. We’ll see. No fresh meat, yet. I was happy to see some fresh fruits and vegetables. I even found beef stock and some clean frozen vegetables. Hope to find flour in a day or two so I don’t have to break open our emergency dry goods supply.Continue reading 2 Gallons of Milk
Christmas for dad used to mean unboxing absurdly secured toys from wires and installing batteries. Today it’s full-blown technical support for account creation, device registration and navigating system updates.
Happy “Day Off” to all the system engineers out there.
It might be made of rubber, it might not. But it’s required for the workbench.
Why? Cheap wristwatches for kids. These little alert bombs show up at birthdays, Christmas and random grandparent visits. The kids are thrilled. “Dad! Look! I have a watch now!”Continue reading Dad Inventory item #17: Mallet.
Dad and son outside at the grill.
Son: “Mom says you want to grill because it’s out here.”
Son: “Mom says you could cook this inside.”
Son: “Anything I can do to help?”
Dad: “Mom says you can go inside and rinse vegetables.”
Son: “If I don’t speak can I stay here?”
Dreams. I’ve always had extremely vivid, sometimes lucid, sometimes insightful, but always insanely intense dreams. They can last for what feels like hours. I can wake up, get distracted, fall back asleep and drop right back into the same dream sequence. I don’t know if it’s a blessing or a curse, it’s just what has always been for me.Continue reading A Family that Dreams Together
Monet has this “tell” that I always seem to forget…
Monet: Hey, Dat, how was work today?
Me: Good! (short story about computers)
Monet: Hey, Dat, how was school today?
Me: Great! (short story ensues)
Monet: Hey, Dat, what did you learn today?
Me: Fun things like math and science!
Monet: Hey, Dat, I pooped.
Every. Single. Time.
It’s 02:00, I’m wide awake and trapped in a tent with my 5-year old (whom is blissfully sound asleep -bless his lucky heart) at a park in Long Beach just feet from the noisy 605 freeway …with no less than 500 other kids and parents locked into this same “overnight extravaganza” experience.
Three problems I failed to account for: 1) I forgot headphones so I could watch Netflix without waking the child up. 2) my reading glasses are a mile away in the car….I’m literally typing this one letter at a time at my arm’s fullest distance.
Nevermind, 2 problems. I just peed into a water bottle. But I kinda wish I had my glasses for that one.
Yesterday – around 10:30 in the morning – our bird started freaking out in her cage and then the ground started shifting. This morning, a few minutes after 04:00, it sounded like the bird fell off of her perch and flapped around in the cage until I came to get her. She was really spooked. Come to find out: there was an aftershock at that time. I didn’t feel it but she sure as hell did. I’ve got a fluffy little seismometer that poops on my shoulders. Win-win.
Someone please start a new fast food restaurant that copies Chick-Fil-A’s entire menu. Do everything they do except meddle in the lives and rights of consenting adults. I’ll be happy to feed my family from there at least 3 or 4 times a month. Oh, and call the new restaurant, “Chick-We’re-Gay-And-It’s-A-OK!”
Thanks. Good chat.
That special ring of hell when your 2-year old desperately needs a nap but someone gave her candy. Raging hilarity ensues